Saturday 11 October 2008


I don't wish to sound morbid but I've been thinking about death just lately. I guess it's because it was the inquest into my Dad's death on Friday that has made me ponder on the subject more than usual.

You see as you get older death smacks you in the face rather more than you would want it to. My stepmum, Dora, died suddenly less than 2 years ago and then my Dad got run over and killed less than 6 months ago. It kind of brings a lot of things into perspective......

So why are we so afraid of death and why do we avoid mentioning the subject?

I guess the pain of losing someone you love, whatever age they may be, is a truely personal pain. Every person is different how they deal with it and what it means to them.

What actually occurs at the point of 'death' and do we realise at the time what is happening? The older I get I suppose I come across more and more people going through the process. My mother and father-in-law both died a few years ago and I tried to help my husband cope with the loss but I could not fully comprehend what it felt like until I lost a parent. I watched Mick's mum dying and she seemed to be aware of exactly when she was going to 'go' and was not afraid. Dora had spoken of having enough now in this life and had made plans for her death even though she was not ill. My Dad, although totally unaware that he was going to be killed, made a point of saying something especially nice to me a few days before his death - a total surprise considering he was suffering from dementia.

So do we know? Or does a part of us deeper than our conscious mind actually know when we are going to die?

I guess I will never know until it is my time to leave this earthly life - and maybe that's the way it's supposed to be - although it probably would help with our perception of life and death if we were more knowledgable on the subject right now.....

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