I wish I really knew what would make us happy. I would like to stop searching and to enjoy the moment.
How do you find your happy?
I thought everything was great. We had made the move back, survived the property rental time and found a new house to buy. The stress of the house sale and purchase has now passed and the realisation that I would have to work for another 8 years to pay for a mortgage at a time of life when I expected to be retired I have accepted.
Why then do I feel confused.
The long list of 'to do' items have been ticked off and we are now officially part of the UK system again. But...
Ten months on the irritations and annoyances that made our dream life in the sun more of a nightmare have begun to fade. The initial excitement at being back in the UK among family and friends has proved that they still have their lives to lead as do I and that although the distance is not so far the time we all have for spending together has not increased. Apart from one family group I see no more of my family than I did when in Alcudia and in fairness their lives moved on in the time we were away. We cannot turn back the clock.
Our lovely new home is undergoing structural work to create my office where I continue to work full time but the safe village where we moved to would seem to have its fair amount of cracks in the passing crime rate. Still safer than where we lived before in the UK, but it is not as safe as life in Mallorca.
Life is not the idyll I expected it to be.
In the past few days my Mother, who was one of the reasons I returned, actually said that she got told more by the family about their lives when I was living away and she wished I was still living in Mallorca.
So all the stress, upheaval and financial cost was for nothing. Maybe I should never have come back!
Oh well, perhaps today is just a bad today and I should leave my posting until tomorrow.
Life no doubt will show me the way - as it always does - and perhaps the sun will shine tomorrow.